It’s true. You can just feel that the social tide has turned, and there’s no stopping the march toward marriage equality now, no matter what the Supreme Court ultimately decides. Decision time for me, though: goat or clock? Or – dare I dream? – a three-way spring wedding featuring the barnyard ungulate and inanimate object of my choice. The slippery slope has begun to steepen, and I won’t be happy until the definition of marriage is altered to include a man, a woman, her gay friend, and an uninterrupted evening of football and oatmeal stout as the latter two go antiquing in search of another finely crafted Viennese armoire to wed.
Never in my life have I seen public opinion shift this rapidly and dramatically on an issue. A recent Pew Research Center poll showed that more Americans (49%) now favor same-sex marriage than oppose it (44%). This is a double-digit shift in opinion from just 10 years ago, when 58% opposed gay marriage and just 33% were in favor.
Once again, it’s demographics – the bête noire of old-guard conservatism – that’s driving the change. In short, young people are less and less likely than ever to buy into anti-equality arguments. The same Pew Research Center poll that showed a steady increase in overall support for gay marriage showed a tectonic change in millennials’ (those born after 1980) attitudes. Seventy percent of millennials now support same-sex marriage, as compared to 49% of Gen Xers (those born from 1965 to 1980), 38% of baby boomers (1946 to 1964), and 31% of those born from 1928 to 1945.
Moreover, support for gay marriage has increased significantly among each group surveyed, nearly doubling (17% to 31%) among those born from 1928 to 1945.
I’m no social scientist, but that looks like an unstoppable rainbow tide to me. At this rate, it would take an army of Rick Santorums and Michele Bachmanns breeding nonstop and building gay conversion camps like Taco Bell Expresses to even put a dent in this trend.
Anecdotally, the story is the same. My Facebook lit up with creative red equal signs recently as people I never would have guessed would support marriage equality went out of their way to register their approval. Contrast that with my experience growing up in a smallish Wisconsin city during the ’70s. The last thing you wanted to be called was gay. There was no greater insult. Presumably, this fear of social ostracism was the only thing keeping our Catholic grade school from turning into something resembling an opening-night cast party for Mamma Mia! Homophobia was de rigueur at the time; now I suspect the greater social crime is being caught in the lunch line with an iPhone 3.
Indeed, I distinctly remember my reaction of abject disgust upon hearing back in the mid-’70s that one of the members of Monty Python – my comedic heroes at the time – was a homosexual. What? Those nice cross-dressing English gentlemen? What is this freak show?
Then I got out in the real world and met a few gay people. They liked movies and art and tended to drink slightly more wine than I cared to. Oh, and the baked brie. Forget about it. Horrors. How you gonna keep them down on the farm after they’ve sampled artisanal cheeses? I’m lucky I escaped with my fragile heterosexuality intact.
But in addition to the social justice implications, we should heartily embrace the economic benefits of gay marriage. Writing for PBS.org, economist M.V. Lee Badgett noted that legalized gay marriage will likely be an economic boon, not least for many big corporations, which see marriage equality as good for business. She also notes the obvious: Marriage equality would be great for the wedding business, “generating at least $1.5 billion, by my calculations, in spending on flowers, cakes, bands, meals, photographers, hotels, tourism in general, suits and gowns (not to mention those one-off gowns for the members of the bridal party).”
And you know what? I wouldn’t be surprised if that $1.5 billion figure weren’t drastically low. Why? Because you won’t just be adding weddings to the mix, you’ll be adding weddings that include almost no input from heterosexual men. I suspect that left to their own devices, most heterosexual men would like to spend anywhere from $50 to no dollars on their weddings. And that would include their tux rental. And money to tip the authentic Star Wars cantina band.
I was lucky enough to find a wonderful woman who wanted a small, unpretentious wedding, but truth be told, I would have preferred to spend less than we did. My experience is that if you offer food and alcohol to people, they’re more likely to come to your event. And yet we did exactly that. Lesson learned.
But by definition, gay weddings include no heterosexual men. It’s like watching two guys who can’t reach the brake pedal driving a Brinks truck toward a flower shop. Who’ll stop the runaway money train? That’s right, no one. You’re welcome, economy.
In 50 years, I suspect and hope that we’ll look back at 2013 as the year the anti-gay forces fizzled. And won’t our world look silly then?
For my gay friends whose relationships are far older and more mature than mine: Solidarity. And I really look forward to attending your weddings someday. You can celebrate with your fine French wines and cheeses. It’ll be beer and hummus for me. We can toast to different tastes. Prosit.
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