It was all over the news-o-sphere last week. (That’s just like the Twittersphere, but with better spelling and grammar and a slightly dumbed-down version of Elisabeth Hasselbeck.)
According to the latest Wisconsin Public Radio-St. Norbert College poll, Mary Burke is down 15 points to Scott Walker in the governor’s race, which Burke apparently entered sometime in the last several months while the rest of us were staring at the harsh winter chafing on our elbows and wondering who will resign in disgrace first: Mike Ellis or Mike Ellis’ hair. Or maybe that was just me, but whatever. We definitely weren’t thinking about Mary Burke.
And that’s a mistake. We need to think about her. She needs a boost. And this poll is bad news for her campaign.
But it’s not terrible news. It’s not fatal news. Not yet, anyway.
Here are a few reasons why we should just chill the heck out and let Burke find her sea legs before we insist on tossing her in the drink like yesterday’s chum.
1. Conservatives have a habit of spiking the ball at the 10-yard line when they think they’re about to run in for a score. If all the chickens Republicans had counted in the past 10 years had actually hatched, fawning Iraqis would be scattering rose petals at Donald Rumsfeld’s feet every time he walked into a Baghdad Hooters, Mitt Romney would be president, and gangs of Obamacare bureaucrats would be roaming the country like Salvadoran death squads rounding up anyone over 70 they suspected of concealing a fungal toenail.
2. People don’t know Mary Burke. I linked to this 2011 Isthmus story last week, and it’s worth doing so again, because it’s truly remarkable. All kidding aside, Burke is the real deal. She’s kind, generous, and determined to make a difference for vulnerable people. Conservatives are hoping to paint Burke as a spoiled, clueless one-percenter, but if voters get to know her, that caricature is unlikely to stick. Consider this nugget from the Isthmus: In order to raise money for the cash-strapped The Road Home, a nonprofit agency that serves Dane County’s homeless, Burke sold her house and moved into a smaller one. She gave $450,000 to the charity. How many of us — privileged or not — would do anything like that?
3. The race has just started. Seriously, it’s April. The election is in November. Michael Dukakis had a 17-point lead over George H.W. Bush in July of 1988. Three months and one embarrassing tank helmet later, he was a grease stain covered in eyebrows. We’ve got seven months to go. Chill.
(Continued)
4. Scott Walker is vulnerable in several areas. Wisconsin continues to languish in the pace of private-sector job creation, placing 35th in the nation at last count. He is far off the pace of his 250,000-jobs pledge. (According to this calculation, had Wisconsin simply kept up with the pace of U.S. job growth, we’d currently have 55,000 more jobs than we now do.) In addition, people will likely die because of Walker’s politically motivated decision to reject Medicaid funds, and our refusal to accept our own federal tax dollars will continue to harm our economy.
Also, he is extremely vulnerable on social issues. Transvaginal ultrasound, anyone? No? Too bad, you’re getting one anyway. For your own good. That’s local control, Republican-style.
5. It’s just one poll. A little more than two weeks ago, the Marquette University Law School Poll revealed that Walker held a 48-41 edge, and two weeks before that, the conservative-leaning Rasmussen Poll actually had the candidates tied, at 45% each. Maybe Burke is sinking like a stone, but maybe we know less about the candidates’ popularity than we think we do. Of course, if Burke gets walloped in a poll in late October, you can start to panic.
BONUS: Oh, and then there’s this — my favorite video of the Holocene Epoch. Republican triumphalism apparently knows no bounds. Fortunately, reality often has a way of intruding on their party.
A fitting portrait
I’m still a little awestruck by George W. Bush’s recent media tour, in which he regaled the nation with captivating stories about his retirement and the sublimely weird paintings that have resulted. Maybe next week he can go on Meet the Press and tell us all how much his AARP card saved him on the chicken tenderloin and cheese grits platter at Cracker Barrel.
I know the bar has been set pretty low for past presidents, but sheesh. I thought we were done with this guy. He’s exited public life with the grace of Todd Bridges and has all the gravitas of a secondary H.R. Pufnstuf character. It’s just embarrassing.
Back in 1974, my sister painted a picture of the Bay City Rollers riding unicorns over a rainbow sky full of pan-flute-playing satyrs shooting star-spangled dolphins out of their bottoms … if I’m remembering that right. Come to think of it, it might have been a really godawful ugly portrait of Vladimir Putin. Either way, there’s not much difference between my sister circa 1974 and George W. Bush. Except she didn’t start a war for no reason and waste $2 trillion trying to validate Dick Cheney’s unhinged fever dream.
When you think about it, these paintings perfectly sum up the most callow, foolhardy presidency in modern history: Little thought went into them, they’re a global embarrassment, the media are blithely promoting them like they’re not the biggest train wreck the art world has ever seen, and their creator couldn’t be more proud.
Truth be told, you couldn’t find a more fitting coda to Bush Junior’s storied career. Next time we see him, he’ll be on Good Morning America showing a rapt nation how fun it is to blow bubbles in your milk.
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