Like many of you, I have struggled with burnout. I work in conflict management, so not only do I experience burnout, I witness it on a regular basis.
Burnout can come from any number of factors. Being overworked, lacking support, and being under-resourced are just a couple that I see. For me, burnout comes when I work hard but don’t make any progress.
I have attempted to cure burnout in every self-care routine imaginable. I have turned off notifications, spent time in the gym, taken walks and long baths, poured wine, meditated, isolated myself, hugged friends, and taken vacations — you name it, I’ve tried it. I’ve Googled every piece of advice that the internet has to offer on “self care” — to no avail — until after one particularly trying day, my partner made a comment that altered my search for solutions.
“It’s like you are experiencing one hundred micro-traumas every day at work.”
Yes! I immediately started researching trauma recovery. Please note: I am not a licensed therapist, and this is not medical advice. That said, with this new perspective, I suddenly realized why the prescriptive self-care lists weren’t addressing my burnout. Although they may be effective for some, each of these things need a “why,” a “what,” and a “how” behind them.
I found a list of three questions that I now regularly ask myself and share with my clients, starting with “what” and going into a bit of “why” and “how”:
1. What do I need to feel mentally and physically safe right now? This is different for every person and even every scenario. You need to fully remove yourself momentarily from the situation that is causing you burnout before you attempt to recover from it.
2. What and how do I need to process right now? If we avoid feelings or conflicts at work, we are not processing them. We need to address the concerns candidly so that we can make corrections. How we process is also important. Do we need to process alone or with people close to us?
3. What do I need to feel reconnected to myself and others right now? The worst part of burnout is that it affects our ability to connect. Identifying what is preventing you from making connections is an important part of asking for help.
Beyond work
This makes a great journaling exercise or conversation with a mental health professional. Burnout can come in many facets of life, so these questions can help us beyond the workplace challenges we face.
Diana Pastrana is the founder of Defyne LLC, a Madison business consultancy focused on helping organizations grow through conflict.
