Say anything: The GOP’s grand old irony machine
Oh, Mitt, Mitt, Mitt. What a rascal you are. Verily, I love you with all my spleen. You are the Dennis the Menace of outrageous plutocratic lies. The
git who keeps on giving. You’re like a walking Zen koan, just waiting each day to visit confusion on my mortal monkey mind and launch me headlong into an expansive realm of timeless, egoless enlightenment.
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Bad sequel: Walker might win this after all
This was supposed to have been a lot more inspiring. And barring that, it should have at least been entertaining. Remember the 2003 California gubernatorial recall? An adult film star ran, for God’s sake. And a pornographer. And a prop comic who crushed watermelons for a living. And a former child actor best known for saying, “Whatchu talkin’ ’bout, Willis?” Too bad they weren’t all the same person, because that would have still made a lot more sense than Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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A Socialist Like Me
As reported in the pages of In Business magazine.
During the course of my writing career, I've been called a socialist a handful of times. Those who read my fizzy screeds are probably convinced it's an everyday occurrence, but I'd say it happens with roughly the same frequency that Mitt Romney buys a Caddy, Mark Neumann runs for public office, or Dick Cheney swaps out a major organ.
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From Bachmann to Santorum, the 2012 primary season was riveting reality TV
With the announcement that Newt Gingrich
will soon suspend his presidential campaign, Mitt Romney now officially stands alone among the field of GOP candidates. (Yes, I know Ron Paul is still “officially” in the mix, but he’s more like one of those Japanese soldiers who sat in a spider hole eating boiled fingernail clippings and mice until the start of the Carter administration, unaware that the war was over, so he doesn’t really count. Plus, he’s
not really a Republican.)
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